CONTRIBUTORS NEEDED FOR DOCUMENTARY ON CAUCASIAN MUSLIM FEMALES

The BBC World Service, Heart and Soul series, is making a programme on Caucasian Female Muslim converts to Islam over the last 10 years since 9/11. We are looking for Muslim sisters happy to share their own personal experiences of converting into a faith which has been on the political agenda over the past decade. The basis of this programme is to mark 9/11 by celebrating these personal, spiritual journeys. The programme will be broadcast on radio internationally.

For further information please contact:
E-mail: saba.zaman[@]bbc.co.uk / kristine.pommert[@]bbc.co.uk
Tel: 020 7557 3144 / 020 7557 3048

Okay, so the ‘White Female Muslims’ don’t have to be single. Catchy titles are hard to resist.

I wonder what other programming to expect around the 10th anniversary of 9/11? Honestly, I’d prefer the hermit life over those coming few days. And I’m not even in the US – God help my American brethren.

The day involved two major meetings, each relating to the two main projects that currently dominate my unemployed life: Deaf Muslim initiatives (e.g., SignLabs), and blogging. As the content of both meetings was pretty much confidential, I’ll skip the details, and just describe the basic aims.

In the morning, I met with reps from two different Deaf groups, to discuss a newly proposed plan to translate the Qur’an into British Sign Language. It’s a really exciting project, masha’Allah, for many reasons, and of course, extremely rewarding on many levels.

Earlier the same week, I had a meeting with another group who were responsible for getting the Friday khutbah at East London Mosque translated into BSL. During that discussion, I was made aware of the struggle of presenting Islam to the Deaf in a clear, non-confused manner, especially when taking into consideration both the numerous language and cultural barriers.

Both meetings, though very useful and informative, highlighted the fact that I am such a newbie. I cannot sign, so I am useless for translating anything into BSL, and have to rely on others to interpret. I am not sufficiently knowledgeable in Islam to act as an aalima consultant-type. I’m not even a media expert to offer video production services on a grand enough scale to make a real impact. At best, I’m another pair of hands, and an extra voice, hopefully making the work of the professionals a little easier, insha’Allah.

Anyway, this realization has given me further motivation to start learning sign language properly. I submitted an application for a BSL level 1 course at my local community college, which should start in September (if they accept me; the course is quite popular, apparently). I then plan to apply what I have learnt by volunteering my spare time to London-based Deaf groups: after all, if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it (“it” being knowledge).

SignLabs started out of pure impulse to do something. Now it needs to mature into something else. I hope, in time, to figure out what that something else is, insha’Allah.

Now, onto Meeting 2.

Well, actually, there was a 1.5 hour gap between Meetings 1 and 2. My plan to fill that time by depositing a cheque at the bank failed after it only took around five minutes to cross the road, complete the form with my account details, seal the envelope, and plonk it in the letterbox. Darn. What to do now?

After spending a few more minutes standing outside the bank, looking up into the sky, and tapping my chin, (receiving a couple of odds stares in the process), I decided to risk the bad weather, and nip down the road to the Idea Store (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I was in Whitechapel all day), which is basically a snazzy-looking public library. I failed to access the free WiFi on my iPod, and couldn’t be bothered to open an account just to use the computers, so I did something I haven’t done in a long, long time: I grabbed a couple of books, sat down at an empty table, and quietly read for the next hour or so.

Can you believe it?

Me? Read? A Book?!

I mean, I read every day… blogs, articles, instructions on the back of soup packets… but a book? Not even an e-book downloaded from the net! Paperbacks are, like, so 20th century, darlink…

Anyhoo, the first book was a general overview of Evolutionary theory, in preparation for writing my long-promised essay. The second was on the British suffragette movement. I want to know more about how women fought for their rights, as I believe such genuine, sincere struggles are being betrayed by the actions of some modern-day feminists, as well as the newly emerging ‘laddette’ culture. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to finish either book, as I didn’t want to go through the hassle of registering for a library card. So I’ll have to continue my education some other day.

Finally, the time came to make my way back up the road to the London Muslim Centre, for Meeting 2. Though there is much to say about what happened over the course of the next few hours, for now, I can only reveal that it was about British Muslims and the media. I was there as a representative of the Muslim blogosphere – though I felt like such a tiny, little sardine of a fish in the pond of large tuna-sized media fish, that surrounded me on the table. However, I became more piranha-like towards the end of the meeting, partly out of impatience, and partly because my stupid, big mouth can’t help but snap at others sometimes – no matter what their status is in comparison to mine – may Allah forgive me.

It’s funny though, because it was the second time that day that I had touched upon the subject of culture in Islam (that’s what my big mouth was debating at the time). My own opinion is that it is fine, as long as it doesn’t take the place of religion: though what I class as ‘culture’ (fashion, food, language and the arts) is regulated by Islam, to varying degrees. This opinion is based on comments made by several respected scholars.

I actually used to be far more hardline in the past, claiming that culture was the ‘enemy’ of Islam… but that was born out of ignorance, not educated reasoning. Over the years, I have been quite surprised to discover how accommodating Islam, and in turn, the learned representatives of Islam are to a nation’s culture, even going so far as to take it into account when formulating legal rulings.

However, my respected ‘opponent’ seemed to disagree with me. Or at least, insist on not understanding me, because I actually think he shared the same opinion. More likely, I didn’t explain my stance very well; I don’t claim to be a skilled conversationalist.

Anyway, I have a tendency to dwell on such incidents, because they are usually quite rare (I normally shy away from confrontation); I am sure it has been long forgotten by everyone else (at least, that’s what I hope, insha’Allah!). If not, I shall blame my behaviour on youthful impetuousness… {cough}

So, basically, that was my day. I went home with a doggy bag full of the yummy Bengali food that had been served as lunch during the second meeting, and ended up napping on the sofa. My tiredness from all the activity makes me wonder how I’ll cope with a full-time schedule this coming October. I may have to do some Rocky-style training beforehand, or something.

#Ba baa ba-ba-baa, ba-ba-baa, ba-ba-baa…# [That's the start of the Rocky theme tune, for those of you wondering if I've lost it completely...]

Donate to the DEC Gaza Appeal.

Hat-tip to Media Guy

Anyway… after carrying a bunch of heavy duty equipment across East London, debating American racial politics, and eating a good dinner, poor Media Guy collapsed into an ocean of velvet, and felt absolutely no shame in snoozing in full view of the surrounding public!

Black, hooded thobe >> Grim Reaper catching some Zees.

I guess young media guys can get away with these things… {smiles}

When faced with a problem, I used one of two ‘extreme’ paths in my search for a solution.

Where I suspected that I knew enough to fix the problem myself, I was very secretive, independent, and head strong. Even if someone offered me advice (though it would not have been requested), I’d politely listen to them, but in my head I was thinking:

“Yeah, yeah, I already knew that.

“No, that won’t work.

“Please, just let me get on with it!”.

I think it had something to do with trying to ‘prove’ myself; either to my supervisors, or just as an ego rush. This behaviour lead to me wasting six months on an experiment, that never yielded any results. I kept repeating and repeating the assay, and I would report my work regularly, but I never actually thought to sit down and talk to someone about why I was failing so consistently; I was that determined to solve the problem myself.

One supervisor openly chastised me for this, and I think the embarrassment from that experience, combined with the frustration of having clearly wasted so much time, caused me to swing the other way completely. Thus, ‘the Leech’ was born.

Now, every time I had a problem, even a tiny one, I would seek human intervention. It didn’t matter whether there were manuals written on the subject, or in-depth how-tos posted online; I still needed reassurance from someone more experienced in that field, to make sure that I didn’t mess up to that extent again. I am surprised no-one ran away from me in the hall ways, screaming:

“Noooo… I have given all I have to give! You have sucked my brain dryyyy!”.

It was understandable in a way. I was a student after all, and for most of human history, knowledge has traditionally been passed from human to human. Even now, with books, libraries, and wikis, full of information, we still plan to send our children to school to learn from real teachers, not from Google; at least for the forseeable future.

Perhaps the Creator geared our brains towards speech-based learning for a reason; the Qur’an may be written down, but it has always been considered a recitation, not a book. And how often are we criticized, as Muslim students in the West, for taking sacred knowledge directly from the texts, and not from teachers? The main reason being, that you cannot appreciate context from a string of words alone. Nor can you learn manners and wisdom, except by being witness to it in person, by spending time in the best of company, for prolonged, regular periods.

The burden on the one being questioned is great. To be hassled, often at times of great personal inconvenience; to have your brains picked at, and your opinions analysed beyond your own comprehension. And then not even to get a thank you afterwards! It is tiring work being a good teacher, for sure. But who is more admired, than a great teacher?

The incentive should not be admiration, of course. Every useful word uttered, every grain of wisdom shared, every hair that turns grey, is an investment. Knowledge that benefits is an ongoing charity, that remains with the believer, even after the vessel for that knowledge has long become dust in the grave.

And as far as I am aware, the knowledge referred to above, is not just of the sacred variety; though I imagine that it has a much greater ‘price tag’ than that of the regular kind. But by helping others to function in this life, one is easing the path towards goodness, because as Muslims, we seek to worship Allah with everything that we do. In addition, by saving others time in the dunya, we grant them more time to spend on the akhirah… at least, in theory.

So, cooking a nice meal, that brings a smile to the face of those who partake in it; especially family and neighbours – surely that recipe could be a source of reward for the one who shares it?

Or posting an entry about how to write a killer CV. If the reader takes your advice, and gets a job because of it, and then goes on to spend their earnings on their family, and community – well, shouldn’t the author get a cut of all that reward, insha’Allah?

Allah is most generous that way.

Why am I writing all this? Well, as much as I do not miss academia – that is, having to attend lectures, write reports, etc – it turns out that I have a lot of learning left to do; yes, with my deen, but also with the new directions I seem to be taking in life, such as editorship of a magazine.

A sister wrote something to me today, about professionalism. I agreed with her sentiments, that if we wish to be called professionals, then we should act like professionals, and not be expected to be molly-coddled when we are learning. I guess I have been in disconnect mode for all this time. I want the magazine to be a professional publication, but I am still working like it is a voluntary, part-time shindig, like all my other initiatives. It’s time to take this to the next level – what that means exactly, I’m not sure – but her email was a big wake up call.

Does that mean The Leech is dead? Umm, no. The Leech will continue to leech all that she can from the people she believes that she can benefit from, insha’Allah. For that, I offer both advanced warnings, and sincere apologies.

But I pray that the investment so kindly provided (voluntarily or otherwise) will result in great returns for whomsoever has become prey to my blood-sucking tendencies; both in this life, and the next. Ameen.

Now, back to work for me… {replaces her Leech cap, with her Editor cap}

{Wonders what a Leech cap would look like?}

Yeck…

Now, can I go to bed please?

He doesn’t even need the publicity!

As I’ve said elsewhere, he is potentially the lesser of two evils; but I question how wide that margin really is. It’s not the first time that a smooth talking, charismatic, handsome, young guy has screwed over an entire nation.

I don’t trust him.

I do understand why many Muslim Americans support him; but I think they need to keep the “love” in check.

Where did all his campaign millions come from? Let’s not be naive. You do remember that you guys supported Bush the first time round, right? Don’t let yourselves be bitten by the same hole twice…

All I mean is: I really hope you have some ‘plan B’s prepared for the very likely scenario that Obama will be changing his tune once in power, rather than the status quo.

McCain still sucks though!

If you were at the GPU yesterday, and spotted a mad sister interviewing some “strange” people on camera – that was me! I can’t say too much, mainly because I want to save the juicy details for the article I plan to write, insha’Allah.

I took photos, and also met some interesting folks, including a couple of the MM shuyukh (link to my MM article to be inserted here within 24 hours, insha’Allah now LIVE).

I have to say, although the Islam Expo 2008 was so much more fun, in so many more ways, I did learn just as many lessons from my GPU experience, both from a professional and personal perspective.

Professional lessons

My interviewing skills need a lot of work, but I did improve over the course of the day, alhamdulillah. So, by the time I interviewed a couple of very special guests ["Who could they be?", the audience ponder... you'll have to wait for the article, I'm afraid!], I was in my element. And although I haven’t seen the footage myself, I am pretty sure they went well, masha’Allah.

Tecchy point: it really helps if you can hear the answers your interviewees are giving in response to your questions. That might sound obvious, but it wasn’t to me, until I was basically told that my questioning style sucks, by the cameraman (okay, he was nicer than that). It wasn’t “conversational” enough the first few times, but that was fixed when I nabbed his giant, DJ-style headphones that were connected to the audio feed from the microphone I was holding. I had to endure the torture of hearing my own voice, coupled with looking like an idiot in front of several hundred passers-by… but it was worth it, just for the significant improvement it made to the flow of the interview, alhamdulillah!

The motto of the weekend from Islam Expo 2008 was: “Act like a pro: get treated like a pro”. That was particularly true at the time, when the same cameraman and I were amateurs in our respective fields. But masha’Allah, we still managed to get a lot done – firstly thanks to the generosity of Allah, secondly due to the generosity that He instilled in his slaves, the Muslims – but thirdly, because we tried to act confidently in our dealings, adding little touches like professional-looking business cards, and did not get all ‘starstruck’ every time we had the opportunity to meet influential speakers and guests. Plus our project, SignLabs.org (then known under the working title: Project: Learn to Sign) really grabbed people’s attention. All that combined with a good intention (insha’Allah) meant we achieved way more than either of us thought was possible, especially for people of our status: i.e., nobodies!

This time round, we were not so amateur. My camera guy (maybe I should just name him? It sounds very side-kick-ish to refer to him by his job description! Note: I just asked his opinion, and he requested to henceforth be known as the “Media Guy”, because in his own words: “I dont just film!“) has recently invested in a lot of heavy duty pro equipment, and has big plans for his production company.

And as a sign of our seriousness, this time round we were really prepared to get things done in a calm and coordinated manner, to avoid the manic circus act that we performed at the Expo. We had press passes, and many contacts on the ‘inside’ who we thought we could use to our advantage. We even had a list of appointments for scheduled, one-to-one interviews. However, it turns out that events never run according schedule; especially ones run by Muslims – though admittedly, I haven’t been to many Jewish, Christian or other faith-related events to make a fair comparison! I don’t want to say too much, mainly because this is not the place to complain, but the whole first day was a huge disappointment to say the least, mainly because we spent most of it sat around waiting for things to happen. It wasn’t just me and Media Guy; my friend also joined us, as well as some other brothers, including one from the organization, Muslim Deaf. That’s a lot of person-power gone to waste.

On a related note, I don’t think I do very well working with large teams on the move. Maybe it is just me, but due to the chaotic nature of such a huge event, it was getting to the point where I was more concerned about the location of group members, than the location of the people we needed to film! In that respect, one reason we did so much better the next day was because we unintentionally split up, with Media Guy, my friend and I working as a small crew. It was so much more manageable that way, especially as we needed to be flexible enough to make the most of fleeting opportunities.

However, praise be to Allah, Day Two proved to be exactly the experience I had been yearning for. And, as my friend pointed out, it likely only came about because of the sheer awfulness of the previous day, that propelled me to beg Allah for help, and subsequently complain to the right people, which made all the difference. I also went back to my somewhat amateurish way of “sod the rules!”, and just did what I wanted to do; what I was actually interested in doing, and what my heart felt happy with. I didn’t wait around for people to bring me opportunities; I created my own, with the permission of Allah. In addition, my intentions were once again clear, and it made all the difference. Really, my head was all messed up the previous day, which really sapped my energy, leading me to focus on the negatives, rather than engaging with the positives.

I am sure there are more professional lessons to be shared, which I haven’t quite realised yet, but I think this post is long enough for now! To end, the motto that was born from the experiences at Islam Expo, has now been amended in light of recent findings:

“Act like a pro: get treated like a pro. But remember: go with flow, else you’ll be too slow!”.

10/10 for cheesiness-factor, right there!

I will continue with the personal lessons in the next installment, insha’Allah.

I wouldn’t say I spend hours agonizing over what to wear, or how to make sure the colour of my headscarf matches my shoes, which should also match my handbag, and shiny hijab pin. I only own a handful of handbags and shoes, which usually makes my choice simple: black, white or pink (c’mon, I’m a girl!).

Then I see a report that reminds me that McCain’s VP, Mizz Palin has spent $150K on a recent “makeover”. I remember being mildly shocked at the amount when I first heard it a few days ago, but this time my reaction was more sympathetic:
“Of course she did. Imagine the headlines if she was seen twice in the same outfit!”.

Though I could never agree with anyone burning that much cash on cloth, nor am I any kind of fan of Palin, she really is in between a rock and a hard place being a female public figure.

Male politicians are expected to wear suits, which all kinda look the same; the most daring mark of self expression and individuality being their choice of tie colour. As long as the shoes are smart, it matters little how much they cost, or how many times they’ve been worn.

But not for women. And here, female commentators are the worst. Positively bitchy! Whether it’s the fashion mags or the News at 10. Slim women are “anorexic” and blamed for poor body image amongst teens, but then are ripped to shreds when they put on a few pounds.

Shut up you silly mares! Honestly, get a real job! Stop bringing your own species down with your back biting and hypocrisy. Ergh!

Anyway, now I’m running late so I better head off. I’ll continue this rant another day (no doubt!).