Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

SimSim’s Wedding Day

// July 15th, 2010 // 4 Comments » // Photos

A selection of photos from the wedding day of my best friend, SimSim.

Bridal Makeup (close up) Bridal Makeup (the full monty) Bridal Bling Bridal Bangles Bangles Confetti
The Stage The Hall (1) The Hall (2) The Hall (3) Little Red Bag of Secrets

Actions Speak Louder

// February 14th, 2010 // 4 Comments » // Blog

I always find it awkward to directly ask a potential about Islam-related matters. So here's a rishta tip for those single girls who care about whether their potential spouse prays or not, and wish to gauge the level of importance that he places upon salat: pay attention to the meeting time.

For example, if he sets it to five minutes before or after Maghrib, that's not a good sign. When does he expect to pray it, and doesn't he care that you have to pray too?

Also, if he is already at your house, and the time for Maghrib is fast approaching, or even worse, it has already started, and he hasn't made a single mention of it – well, it's another bad sign. The same applies to any prayer he's about to miss having spent a few hours in your family's company.

An exception to the rule is a guy who has travelled a long distance in order to visit, as he may have the option to join the prayers (i.e., dhohr & asr, maghrib & isha) – depending on the opinion he follows.

I could probably write a few more “rishta tips” from my five plus years of experience. But I'm saving them up for the book that I plan to publish once I have actually succeeded in getting hitched. Right now, it reads too much like the opening chapter of Bilqis Joneswala's Diary. The story will only be worth reading if and when Mr Darcy decides to show.

On Rivalry

// September 17th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // Blog

“Bear in mind that the present life is just a game, a diversion, an attraction, a cause of boasting among you, of rivalry in wealth and children.” Qur'an 57:20

I don't think I ever really appreciated the sense of rivalry that Allāh mentions in the above verse (and elsewhere in the Qur'an), until very, very recently. I'm talking, the last two months or so. It sort of crept up over me, maybe because nearly every singleton in my life has suddenly gotten married, with other newly weds having babies, that I feel somewhat left behind in the personal life department.

A few years ago, I was on a quest to get married – but it was more like an adventure; one that I shared with friends and cousins. Alhamdulillah, one by one, my travelling companions left for the next stage of their journey, and we waved them off happily, so secure in our knowledge that we, too, would be moving ahead very soon.

Returning to the present, it seems that I am one of the few passengers left behind in the waiting room, wondering why my train is running so late. Shouldn't it have been here by now? Did I miss it? Maybe I read the timetable wrong?

And worst of all, I've become one of them. You know… the 'older' unmarried women, that the younger unmarried women use to make themselves feel better: “Oh, at least I'm not as old as so-n-so”. They become so shocked when they hear my marital status combined with my age. That is, until they realize the expression of disapproval at their tactlessness on my face, and try to cover it up with: “Oh, it'll happen soon, inshā’Allāh”. Yes, thank you. I feel totally reassured now.

Anyway, believe it or not, I'm not complaining about my fate. And if I did, I wouldn't be complaining to you. Rather, I wanted to share how one's perspective on the Qur'an changes with new life experiences. Now I actually feel the sting of rivalry in my heart from time to time. But the verse above reminds me of the bigger picture: it's only a game, Mehzabeen. So be a good sport, and play it well.

A Sad Realization

// July 13th, 2009 // 8 Comments » // Blog

A few moments ago, I posted the following status message:

Mehzabeen wonders why the Star Trek Voyager crew (or even DS9 – though I'm not really a fan of that spin-off) never got their own 'motion picture'?

I am not sure why I posted it, because, truly, I don't expect anyone on my FB or Twitter, or even my Googable blog, to answer it… unless they want to point out how much of a geek I am for thinking about such things, which is so freakin' cliché, that I'd be forced to throw a virtual chappal at them for not having the imagination to come up with something wittier. I mean, c'mon!

Anyway, it got me thinking about the last time I actually had a friend whom I could share this gloriously abnormal side of me with, as there is no-one in my life right now. For some reason, girls generally aren't into SciFi, never mind Muslim girls.

To be honest, I think the last time was in secondary school; not even undergrad. Sure, I hung around with student folk who had similar interests, but I wouldn't class them as “friends”. Just people in my extended social circle. (No, I wasn't part of the university SciFi soc).

I don't even have hope for a future husband-type to have a similarly nerdy streak in him; people are just so BLAH. Or, if they're not boring, they're already married – most likely to women who don't appreciate that quirky side. Gah!

Honestly, am I just a one-off here?

Is there anybody else out there?

Hello -oh -oh -oh…? [echo dissipates into the darkness]

Sigh.

Don’t Play Shaytaan’s Blame Game

// July 10th, 2009 // 10 Comments » // Blog

I attended the much hyped (my own doing) “Emasculated Muslim Men and the Feminist Hijabi” debate this evening. I actually bumped into my good blog buddy, Sumera, prior to the start of the event; so I know that I wasn't the only intrigued blogger in the audience.

Anyway, I don't have much to say about it all. Partly because I was asked to film it, so I was too busy paying attention to my camera, to soak in much of anything. I can tell you that it was a very mature, rational discussion, māshā’Allāh; there wasn't really any kind of 'debate' as such, as all the speakers pretty much agreed with one another (even though the panel consisted of Muslims and a non-Muslim, men and women – “Yey!” for social harmony).

However, one tidbit that made a lasting impression, was offered by the entertaining, yet informative, Imam Shahnawaz Haque (Psychotherapist, Teacher and Khatib), in response to an audience member asking why all the attention was being placed on the deficiencies of men – what about women's deficiencies?

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Romancing The Scholar

// October 18th, 2008 // 9 Comments » // Blog

It seems Muslim scholars of old knew how to make the ladies swoon… Seriously, if this doesn't get you singletons sighing wistfully, and you marrieds gesturing blissfully at your spouses, I don't know what will!

AE: She Was Asleep. I Kissed Her. She Awoke.

Female, Muslim & Single? Look Away Now!

// October 13th, 2008 // 2 Comments » // Blog

Because another wonderful, Muslim male has been snapped up, off the market – Alhamdulillah! More specifically, my fellow Ijtema editor, and dearest bro in Islam, Faraz bhai.

Let us join together in offering our sincerest congratulations and prayers to the new, and inshā’Allāh, happily-ever-after, couple!

Not here, silly… on his blog. {grins}

“Will You Marry Me?”

// August 27th, 2008 // 13 Comments » // Blog

Is that question asked any more? Was it ever asked amongst Muslims?

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Yes, Another Marriage Topic… Sosueme!

// August 15th, 2008 // 22 Comments » // Blog

I was just reminded of the issue whilst chatting to a good friend (wink wink). I learnt of it a while ago, but completely forgot to blog about it. Anyway…

For those of you who have had to endure the annoyance that is your typical rishta, this custom may make your life a little easier, inshā’Allāh.

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How I Plan on Meeting My Future Husband

// August 14th, 2008 // 19 Comments » // Blog

Keeping with the marriage theme, this article made me chuckle (hopefully not at the expense of the sister who was brave enough to write it [anonymously… not so brave then {says the woman who blogs behind a pseudonym (though a lot of people do actually know my true identity)}]):

I want to meet my future husband through the Western Muslim Website … phew, there I finally said it! Although I don't think it's the worst idea, I won't meet him through some future based WM marriage ads – this is a quality publication people, I don't think they'll resort to a “Shaadi.com” style ad page, that is, unless they get really desperate for money!

I have something else in mind…

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