“Love for other people what you love for yourself and you will be a (perfect) Muslim.” – Prophet Muhammed, sallalahu 'alayhi wa salam

An extraordinary example of putting this teaching into practice is that of some of our righteous predecessors.

Ibrahim al-Nakha'ee (rahimahullah) was a'war al-'ayn (blind in one eye), and his student Sulayman ibn Mihran suffered from weak eyesight (a'mash al-'ayn). Ibn al-Jawzi related a story about them in his book Al-Muntathim that they were walking in the streets of Al-Kufah headed to the masjid.

As they were walking, Imam Al-Nakha'ee said, “Sulayman, can you take one road and I take another? For I fear that if we were to pass together by the foolish people, they would say, 'A'war – one eyed – is leading an a'mash – bleary eyed- (through the road) and they would then have backbitten us and fallen into sins.”

So Sulayman replied, “O Abu 'Imran! What is wrong then when we are rewarded while they are sinful?”

Ibrahim al-Nakha'ee replied, “SubhanaAllah! Bal naslam wa yaslamun! Rather, that we be safe (from their backbiting) and they be safe (of sin) is better than if we are rewarded and they are sinful!”.

[al-Muntathim fee Tareekh al Muluk wal Umam]

This is a form of altruism that we all desperately need to adopt. There is a lot of bitterness, enmity and ill-will amongst us. We need to improve ourselves and one another with a far more loving attitude. May Allāh make it easy for us, āmīn.

“Bear in mind that the present life is just a game, a diversion, an attraction, a cause of boasting among you, of rivalry in wealth and children.” Qur'an 57:20

I don't think I ever really appreciated the sense of rivalry that Allāh mentions in the above verse (and elsewhere in the Qur'an), until very, very recently. I'm talking, the last two months or so. It sort of crept up over me, maybe because nearly every singleton in my life has suddenly gotten married, with other newly weds having babies, that I feel somewhat left behind in the personal life department.

A few years ago, I was on a quest to get married – but it was more like an adventure; one that I shared with friends and cousins. Alhamdulillah, one by one, my travelling companions left for the next stage of their journey, and we waved them off happily, so secure in our knowledge that we, too, would be moving ahead very soon.

Returning to the present, it seems that I am one of the few passengers left behind in the waiting room, wondering why my train is running so late. Shouldn't it have been here by now? Did I miss it? Maybe I read the timetable wrong?

And worst of all, I've become one of them. You know… the 'older' unmarried women, that the younger unmarried women use to make themselves feel better: “Oh, at least I'm not as old as so-n-so”. They become so shocked when they hear my marital status combined with my age. That is, until they realize the expression of disapproval at their tactlessness on my face, and try to cover it up with: “Oh, it'll happen soon, inshā’Allāh”. Yes, thank you. I feel totally reassured now.

Anyway, believe it or not, I'm not complaining about my fate. And if I did, I wouldn't be complaining to you. Rather, I wanted to share how one's perspective on the Qur'an changes with new life experiences. Now I actually feel the sting of rivalry in my heart from time to time. But the verse above reminds me of the bigger picture: it's only a game, Mehzabeen. So be a good sport, and play it well.

Mehzabeen wonders why the Star Trek Voyager crew (or even DS9 – though I'm not really a fan of that spin-off) never got their own 'motion picture'?

I am not sure why I posted it, because, truly, I don't expect anyone on my FB or Twitter, or even my Googable blog, to answer it… unless they want to point out how much of a geek I am for thinking about such things, which is so freakin' cliché, that I'd be forced to throw a virtual chappal at them for not having the imagination to come up with something wittier. I mean, c'mon!

Anyway, it got me thinking about the last time I actually had a friend whom I could share this gloriously abnormal side of me with, as there is no-one in my life right now. For some reason, girls generally aren't into SciFi, never mind Muslim girls.

To be honest, I think the last time was in secondary school; not even undergrad. Sure, I hung around with student folk who had similar interests, but I wouldn't class them as “friends”. Just people in my extended social circle. (No, I wasn't part of the university SciFi soc).

I don't even have hope for a future husband-type to have a similarly nerdy streak in him; people are just so BLAH. Or, if they're not boring, they're already married – most likely to women who don't appreciate that quirky side. Gah!

Honestly, am I just a one-off here?

Is there anybody else out there?

Hello -oh -oh -oh…? [echo dissipates into the darkness]

Sigh.

Plus, I want a longer term record of what I said, because it's the kind of advice that will bite me in the bee-hind one day, if I ever forget it – this post will hopefully serve like a post-it note, for when I will inevitably need the same 'talking to'.

—

The status message:

Why non-Muslims make better friends than Muslims: More open-minded, less drama, respecting your religion, not offended by you because your more religious, less likely to be jealous or complain or constantly be evaluating everything you do. Preserve your deen- even if it means favoring the company of disbelievers.

My response (that covered three comments, due to the word limit):

First, I believe you have to define what you mean by “friend”, when you make such a blanket statement.

The definition you seem to allude to is the 'sitcom' friend: the one you can hang out with, maybe share some laughs with, and kill some time with in between lectures.

In Islam, however, a true friend is one who frequently reminds you of Allāh, and is not afraid to enjoin the good and forbid the evil whilst sharing your company. Ultimately, anyone who prevents you from displeasing Allāh – even with the harshest of manners – is your BEST FRIEND. And inshā’Allāh, you'll thank them for it in Jannah.

Qur'an, Al-Maeda:

55 Your (real) friends are (no less than) Allāh, His Messenger, and the (fellowship of) believers,- those who establish regular prayers and regular charity, and they bow down humbly (in worship).

56 As to those who turn (for friendship) to Allāh, His Messenger, and the (fellowship of) believers,- it is the fellowship of Allāh that must certainly triumph.

57 O ye who believe! take not for friends and protectors those who take your religion for a mockery or sport,- whether among those who received the Scripture before you, or among those who reject Faith; but fear ye Allāh, if ye have faith (indeed).

It's not to say one cannot share a bond with a non-Muslim; we all share in our humanity, and it is natural to find solace in that. But such blanket statements are not justified, simply because of your own personal experiences.

Further, it is arguable that your own bias towards (or perhaps, against) your Muslim brethren, is the cause of such negativity.

We have much higher expectations of our fellow Muslims, than we do of non-Muslims. For one, we think a Muslim should know better, having been blessed with the gift of guidance. Second, every Muslim is an ambassador of Islam, and by extension, all other Muslims: therefore, if they mess up, you feel it reflects badly on you.

That is why we are far more critical of Muslims than non-Muslims, why we give the latter way more slack, and why we feel we can tolerate their company more – because we don't see ourselves in non-Muslims, therefore there is less to hate.

End of thesis. :)

That was the departure point for the Viva Palestina convoy, who are now all on their way to Ramsgate, from where they will begin their long journey to Gaza.

I didn't expect it, but I was quite overcome by emotion at times: both with joy, as well as a happy kind of sadness. My heart was genuinely moved by the people around me. We should all thank Allāh for allowing us to witness such devotion and selflessness. Alhamdulillah. In fact, such were my feelings, that I was sufficiently motivated to come down to the Apple Store, just so I could blog about it!

Please make dua for the people on this convoy, as well as the people they are making all these efforts for. May Allāh grant them peace and success. Āmīn.

You can still be a part of the action: send in your donations and messages of good will via the Viva Palestina website.

—

I have captured more footage which I hope to put together this weekend, inshā’Allāh. Speaking of which, I have to mention a compliment I received from one of the Press TV crew!

I actually met him last week at the convoy meeting; the footage from which I used to produce my last video for iMuslim.tv. I was carrying my little HV20, whereas he had a much better, TV-worthy video camera. Unsurprisingly, I don't think he took me very seriously.

Somehow he watched my video online, so when I bumped into him again today, he noted how he was impressed with the quality of my shots, māshā’Allāh – in spite of the smallness of my camera! He then encouraged me to get a bigger one… but who can afford it?!

Anyway, that cheered me up. I hope to improve over time, inshā’Allāh. I especially need to work on my post-production skills, and learn how to get really good audio. That's definitely harder than getting good video. I also need to invest in more equipment. It all costs though… sigh.

I need a sponsor, fast!

Anyway… I gotsta get going. Peace y'all!

First, we went on the bus towards Stratford – the future home of the 2012 Olympics, inshā’Allāh. On the way, we got stuck in traffic on Green Street, one of the main districts for S.E. Asian shopping in London. However, it is also the home of West Ham United football ground; so Saturday nights tend to bring out the footie fans.

Unfortunately, the rink that we were intending to visit had mysteriously disappeared. A drastic change of plans was required. SimSim had it on good authority (well, her sister told her) that there was a rink in the O2 centre, previously known as the “Millenium Dome“. In all my years in London, I'd never actually visited the Dome, so I thought, “what they hey, let's do it!”.

Unfortunately, we only found a dry, indoor ski slope… and I didn't feel that adventurous.

So we continued on to the nearby Docklands – London's modern financial hub – to seek out the Canary Wharf ice rink; a dead cert that we had seen advertised online.

Huzzah! Success! Oh wait… does this mean I have to ice skate now? Eep!

I forgot to mention that I'd only been skating once before in my life, around six years ago… and during my ice-capades, I fell over three times, resulting in a nasty bruise to my left butt cheek. Umm, too much information?

Well, after a lot of girlish screaming, I managed to do the improbable, and stay up on the ice long enough to glide around a bit. SimSim was my rock… in fact, most of the time, I was clinging onto her (when I wasn't clinging onto the sides of the rink for dear life). She also provided a lot of my propulsion power, as I haven't quite figured out how to… erm… well, move forward on my own. Look, staying upright is hard enough!

We were doing really well. We had witnessed many tumbles, scrapes, and crashes, but had managed not to lose balance once during the entire session. Even after a random boy decided to grab onto me as he was falling over!

Then, on the way to the exit, something terrible happened… yeah, I fell… but, with grace. In other words: the other cheek is still intact. The hardest part was getting up. Once again, SimSim proved herself, and helped pull me to my wobbly feet. I guess the evening would not have been complete without me looking like a complete idiot (as if the previous 45 minutes had not been enough).

Check out the other photos from my evening in East London:

Let us join together in offering our sincerest congratulations and prayers to the new, and inshā’Allāh, happily-ever-after, couple!

Not here, silly… on his blog. {grins}

Could it be because I had a caramel frappé latté from Café Nero?
Perhaps – coffee always puts me in a loved up mood. Seriously, it's like my own halal version of ecstasy. New personal motto: DON'T DO DRUGS – do caffeine instead. ;)

Could it be because I have completed the corrections on my thesis?
Perhaps – my examiner approved them earlier this week. Everything has been printed off, and should be ready to pick up from the binders next Wednesday, inshā’Allāh. Once I submit them bad boys to the Registry, I AM FOREVER FREE! (Though I still have to write my paper…)

Could it be because of the beautiful Summer weather?
Perhaps – it was a lovely day, māshā’Allāh. Bright sun, cool breeze, light heat – just right for the London muhajibahs going about their business.

Could it be because I have something really cool to look forward to?
Perhaps – I'm not telling you what it is exactly… but it involves travelling. Allāh has made the planning easy so far; I hope He allows me to go through with it. More info later, inshā’Allāh.

Could it be because I am having a BBQ tomorrow, inshā’Allāh?
Perhaps – I mean, who doesn't love a BBQ, right? It'll just be a handful of girlfriends, plus my parents. I pray that the good weather holds. Half-cooked, half-burnt meat – now that's the true taste of Summer! :D

Could it be because all my best friends have turned into baby-makers?
Perhaps – one friend gave birth this week, and another is seven months preggers, māshā’Allāh. Even though I'm not sure when I'll get to see the little tykes, it's still lovely to know that they exist. May Allāh make them a source of blessing for their parents, āmīn.

Could it be because I know such wonderful people?
Perhaps – both online and offline: you guys ROCK! Okay… that's probably the coffee talking. :P

Thank you God for all the good in my life… {happy sigh}

If you're happy and you know it, leave a comment. :)