Comments on: Men Really Are From Mars

By: Siraaj Muhammad

Siraaj Muhammad — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:13:21 +0000

iMuslim, here’s something just for you:

When the time is right, insha’Allah, it’ll come in handy.

Siraaj

By: Specs

Specs — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 10:14:09 +0000

Gosh, I’m with Sumera here… I lose track of what people are saying because I keep on tuning in and out but shorter sentences make their way into my long term memory in a surprising way because I don’t even have to make an effort, really.

By: Sumera

Sumera — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:49:38 +0000

Good thing I talk kind of slow anyway and switch off when people talk for too long :D

Am I a man….

By: Manas Shaikh

Manas Shaikh — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 22:24:20 +0000

It’s correct what you heard. And it’s correct to treat people according to their needs. There’s nothing wrong with that. Rather being not responsive to somebody’s special needs, even when you can, is wrong- I would say.

By: Siraaj Muhammad

Siraaj Muhammad — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 21:16:44 +0000

Also, for those of us who are particularly dense, you’ll need to spell out when you want understanding, and when you want a solution, otherwise, men will assume you want the latter (which is why when you don’t get to the point, they can’t be helpful to the metaphorical damsel in distress).

Evolved individuals like myself can usually tell the difference because we evaluate the discussion in that light – if I truly can’t tell what my wife wants, I ask her directly, “Hold on, before you continue, you want a solution, or understanding?” It’s pretty funny, but so far I’ve gotten away with it without having the chappels chucked at me yet.

Siraaj

By: Slim | MuslimWorker.com

Slim | MuslimWorker.com — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 20:53:19 +0000

Assamu’alaikum,

First off, nice blog, MashAllah.

Secondly, being a man, I find that women are much more intuitive than men are. That means they will say things (and not say things) and expect you to understand the big picture.

Unfortunately, men aren’t as intuitive. Spelling things out to us will really help in the relationship/conversation/etc. I think this is because we are more logical.

There are, of course, always exceptions to the rule. But this is generally how I see it.

Wasalam,
Slim | MuslimWorker.com

By: AnonyMouse

AnonyMouse — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:17:29 +0000

Oh, and there are many times when it’s just better to talk to a guy because girls get too caught up in their feelings… whereas guys can be (gratefully) dense in that particular area. Unless they’ve been married for a while and can (kind of) pick up on that stuff.

By: AnonyMouse

AnonyMouse — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:16:12 +0000

As-salaamu ‘alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

*Looks around at the blog*
*Dusts off chair*
*Seats self at table, links hands together, leans forward and joins the conversation*

Siraaj is right. Speaking to men is like writing a newspaper article. You need a catchy title (sensationalism is permitted if the intended audience is easily bored, distracted, or just plain thick in the skull), throw out some exciting-sounding main points, and THEN you can rant. Just not for too long ‘cuz then their eyes glaze over. It also helps if you give them something to do – much of the time they assume you’re talking to them because you need them to do something. It makes them feel better if they feel useful.

By: iMuslim

iMuslim — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 15:51:54 +0000

Siraaj: Excellent advice, masha’Allah. Tbh, I’d trust yours more than the instructor’s, considering you’re a guy n’ all. Though when I told my mum about the slow-talking tip, she seemed to agree with it… and she’s been married for >40 years. So maybe there is /some/ truth in it! :D

teddleruss: Just read the post more slowly, and take frequent breaks in between paragraphs. ;)

Ibn Halal: Wa ‘alaykum salam wa rahmatullah. I think I would have enjoyed studying anthropology. But the ethics of human experimentation is a little ‘iffy’. :)

muslimengineer: “men will listen to what women have to say and women will say what men like to hear”… :p

Shawkat: “Bcoz i also pretend like listening when i dont want to listen at all.” Have you ever thought of writing a sitcom? ;)

By: Shawkat

Shawkat — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 12:37:41 +0000

@ muslimengineer: Very wellsaid.