The Off Button

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// August 13th, 2008 // Blog

Can someone help me locate it please?

You see, I lost the manual that came with my body. It was on loan to my parents, but I think they threw it out with some old baby toys when I entered secondary school – which explains the totally horrendous awkward teenager phase that started around the same time.

Maybe some of you still have your user guides, and could help a sista out?

It's a very specific button. For my emotions. Not the girly, hormonal kind. No… It's for those gut feelings that seem to originate from the solar plexus.

For the past week, this bulging mass of nerves and vessels have been positively pulsating 24/7, and it's beginning to drive me mad. It's not the subtle kind of “hmm, I have a strange feeling…” feeling. It's more like: “WooOOooop! WoooOOOop! Strange feeling alert! STRANGE FEELING ALERT! Man the life boats! Ova and stem cells first!”.

I feel like something is going to happen at any moment. I feel expectant (no, not expecting… a totally different abdominally-centered feeling). Or maybe I just really want something to happen.

But nothing is happening. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. And without a somethingness to expunge these feelings, the nothingness is eating away at my insides. Often I sense the waves of nerve fire reverberating off my heart and stomach. And depending on my general mood, this has either resulted in an extra spring in my step, or a slow descent into teary madness. Tch, women, eh?

So, could someone help me find the off button?

Or alternatively… give my solar plexus something worth pulsating over?

Thanks in advance.

9 Responses to “The Off Button”

  1. shaz says:
    August 13, 2008 at 2:10 am

    messed up much?? dude, i worry about you. we should talk maybe… what do you think? because i know for sure i am more messed up, it may give you some hope! ;)

  2. Organic Muslimah says:
    August 13, 2008 at 3:14 am

    Enjoy the ride while it lasts. I think I’ve been there before and you don’t need a button to switch it off…it’s on auto, you see!

  3. Shahrzad says:
    August 13, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    You need to marry.. :D

  4. Dawud Israel says:
    August 13, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    Bismillah

    Here are two duas that could help:

    http://www.islamawareness.net/Dua/Fortress/128.html
    http://www.islamawareness.net/Dua/Fortress/094.html

    Also the prayers of happiness could help at duapower.com
    (plug plug!)

  5. mcpagal says:
    August 13, 2008 at 9:50 pm

    I totally thought we were going to get some ‘big news’ announcement there! Oh well… I hate when you feel weird like that. I usually get really restless and start off 20 projects at once (then the feeling goes away a week later and I leave everything hanging, ahh)

  6. iMuslim says:
    August 13, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    shaz… we shall speak soon enough, insha’Allah. Though I didn’t realise my post would evoke such a strong response in you… seriously, do I come off as that messed up?

    OM: (hang on… organic muslimah once again? Or a Freudian slip?) I am licensed to drive manual, not automatic! Noooo.

    Shah: YES. So, you gonna hook me up or what?

    Dawud: Jazakallah khair bro! Plug away…

    McP: Sorry to disappointment. I pre-empted the danger of leading people on, hence the N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

  7. Lucy says:
    August 13, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    I usually get that after drinking too much strong coffee. Try the decaf for a while.

  8. shaz says:
    August 14, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    nah, you don’t seem messed up at all.. hence my surprised reaction! :) that, and the fact that i like to be overly-dramatic!

  9. AnonyMouse says:
    August 15, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    There is no off button… trust me, I know! I go through those quite regularly – the only thing to do is throw yourself wholeheartedly into a project (or five), or munch on lots of chocolate, or go beat something/ someone up as a distraction.
    It can actually be quite an interesting experience, if you take advantage of it the right way :D

    (BTW, it’s also a great time to hit the prayer mat – I always feel more motivated to pray and make du’aa – that feeling of insanity is extremely motivating!)

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