You Know You’ve Worked Too Long In A Lab When

// September 7th, 2007 // Blog

Found a group of the same name on Facebook. From the list of 48, these are the ones i actually identified with (not sure whether to be happy that i'm not alone, or scared that the problem is so widespread!):

You know you've worked too long in a lab when…

3. You can't watch CSI without cursing at least one scientific inaccuracy

4. You use acronyms for everything and never stop to elaborate

5. Liquid nitrogen is only about a 1/3 as dangerous as you thought

6. You always seem to use the microscope after the person with the impossible close together eyes

8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab – It should be clean?

9. You give the lab equipment motivational pep talks “Work for me today or i'll reprogram you with a fire axe” is my favorite

10. You've worked out that a trained chimp could probably do 90% of your job
[THIS MADE ME GASP – I SAY IT ALL THE TIME!]

11. When a non-scientist asks you what you do for a living you roll your eyes and talk science at them until they've loss the will to live (mainly for fun)

12. You have to check the web to find out what the weather is outside

14. People wearing shorts under a lab coat disturb you slightly as they look as though they might be naked underneath

15. Although all cooking is a glorified chemistry experiment you just still can't seem to get it right

16. Safety equipment is optional unless it makes you look cool

17. Warning labels invoke curiosity rather than caution

20. You decide the courses and conference you want to go on by the quality of the food served

23. No matter what the timings in the experiment protocol there is always time for lunch in the middle

24. As has been pointed out to me on several occasions – You can no longer spell normal words but have no trouble with spelling things like immunohistochemistry or deoxyribonucleic acid.

25. Burning eyes, nose and throat indicate that you haven't actually turned on the fumehood/downdraft bench

30. you have made some kind of puppet out of a nitrile glove and kept it as a pet (Putting dry ice in makes for a rapidly expanding if short lived pet)

34. Blinking real fast has saved your eyesight on more than one occasion.
[Unfortunately/fortunately, this is true for me!]

37. You rejoice when grabbing a handfull of eppendorfs/bijous/anything and it turns outs to be the exact number you needed

39. You hate having to change your lab coat to a new one because 'it just won't fit right' and because the wrist bits are way too tight

41. Your nose invariably itches when you're doing mucky stuff with your hands so you develop the habit of scratching it on your upper arm. Unfortunately you sometimes carry this habit over to real life, where it looks like you're sniffing your armpits.

44. You start making patterns in your pipette tip box as you take the tips out. I made a beautiful spiral today.

47. The fire alarm ceases to bug you. You only evacuate when you see the fire

My (unfunny) contribution: You start using lab words in everyday conversation, so you end up making smoothies in a “homogenizer”.

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