Random Thoughts At 1am

// July 7th, 2007 // Blog

I've been flicking through my archives, trying to figure some things out. I can't believe i only started blogging last October; it feels like much, much longer.

Depending on my perspective, 9 months (well it's actually been less than that, but let's not be pedantic) seems like a life time, or a blip.

When i put on my “PhD hat”, the past nine months have just whizzed by; i feel bad at how little i have achieved in this time, overall, but perhaps that's just typical PhD student negativity talking.

However, when i think about my personal life, i feel positively feline; like i've already lived six of my nine lives. So much has happened to me – yet just like with my PhD, i also feel very little has been achieved, in the material sense. Perhaps i have learnt some things about myself, and how i treat others… but otherwise, my situation has not really changed. I.e., i'm still single, haha. *waits for the deluge of e-proposals* Oh sorry, i fell asleep there… Ah, sweet dreams. ;)

In terms of my Islam, hmm, good and bad things have happened. I do feel my spirituality is at an all time low, but my understanding, and outlook have improved, māshā’Allāh, just through my interactions with so many different types of people, Muslim and non. I don't think the two are connected. My spirituality has suffered because i have not been feeding it.

The good news is, my iPod is fixed! Oh, so you want to know how that's relevant? Sigh, do i have to explain everything? Well, i used to listen to my iPod during my daily commute; i've subscribed to several different podcasts – hmm, have i mentioned this before? I can't be bothered to check right now… Anyway, these podcasts included talks by Hamza Yusuf, Imam Zaid, Mecca One radio, Suhaib Webb, a bunch of khutbahs – lots of really interesting, inspiring stuff, māshā’Allāh. Then there are my beloved Anwar Al-Awlaki MP3s (may Allāh grant him freedom), ripped straight off his wonderful CDs. And a load of other talks i've got from somewhere or other. For two hours a day, i'd get a good dose of naseehah, from a fine collection of speakers, may Allāh reward them all. So you can imagine how much i suffered when my iPod went loopy all those months ago… the funny thing was, it only took me a few minutes to fix, when i eventually downloaded the latest version of iTunes, last week! Alhamdulillah.

So, today, i was finally reunited with my long lost love, and it was like we had never been apart. Can you believe, i have 180-odd podcasts to catch up on! The first one i listened to was by Imam Zaid Shakir, and boy, did it send shivers down my spine. That man can deliver, know what i'm sayin'? It was about the history of African Americans, and there was a poem he quoted at the end… i just have to find it and paste it here… it blew me away. Awe. Some. Subhanallah.

Anyway, i think that's enough random thoughts, seeing as it's now 2am. Sorry for the boring post… i have more interesting things to say, but i don't have the energy to frame them in a fitting manner. Making no sense, am i? Time for bed.

Btw, i just lurve wireless broadband; i can blog from just about anywhere in the house! (Well, only for as long as i have the iBook… will have to return it after my viva, sniffle).

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