Just Five Minutes

// May 5th, 2007 // Blog

I want to know what you're thinking, but i'm afraid to ask.
I'm afraid to know the answer.
I'm afraid you won't look at me the same, anymore, after i utter the question.

Have you ever been in this situation? I'm sure that you have, with all sorts of people, at many different times in your life.

I used to be a great fan of the kids comedy show, Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I know, saddo, right? I don't care; it was just a form of light-hearted entertainment; a bit of escapism from life's harsh realities. One of the main storylines, was the fact that Sabrina could not tell her 'mortal', non-witchy best friends/ colleagues/ teachers, etc., of her magical heritage. I think this broke some kind of witch-code, but more importantly, it could also spell absolute, social disaster. She may become an outcast, feared and scorned; she may even be burnt at the stake! So, lots of hilarity would ensue when a spell went awry, and she and her aunts had to clean up the mess, whilst keeping all the mortals in the dark, with the weirdest of excuses.
I remember in one particular episode, there was some kind of wiccan holiday, on which witches, like Sabrina, could reveal their identities to certain mortals, without fear of Other Realm Council reprisals. In addition, at midnight, the memories of these mortals would be wiped clean, so that the identities of the witches would be kept safe. Sabrina decided to tell her two best friends her deepest secret on that day, even though she feared their potential rejection. However, in the end, her fears were unfounded, as they liked the 'real her'. Even after their memories had been wiped clean, Sabrina felt reassured that she had the company of people who really loved and accepted her, for who she was; she had good friends (i'd say 'māshā’Allāh', if it wasn't fiction).

Right now, i would really love to have such a holiday from reality. I don't need 24 hours; five minutes will do. Five, little minutes to be able to speak my mind, witness the honest reaction, and then instigate some selective memory loss, without resorting to a swift application of a heavy, hardback Physiology textbook, to the back of the skull. What a relief it would be, to have such knowledge, even if the reaction that i received was not what i had hoped for; surely, just to know, would be enough?

However, i live in the real world, and i know that such an ability would be extremely dangerous in the hands of humans. Con-artists would have a field day, collecting pin numbers, credit card info and safe lock combinations. Tabloid journalists would be salivating at the idea of extracting juicy gossip from celebrities, politicians and Church officials. Spouses would question each other over issues of love and fidelity, with potentially disastrous consequences to family life. The scope for abuse is astounding.
Also, what right do we have to gain access to someone's innermost thoughts, without such information being volunteered freely? It's almost likely mental rape, GHB-style.

No, i prefer it the way that it is, when i think about it. Allāh is the only One that can be trusted with the keys to my heart. He is the only one that would not take advantage of my weakness and vulnerability. He is the only One that can truly accept me for who I am, as long as I am regretful of the bad parts, with the firm intention to work on whatever little good there is.

He is also the only One that i can look to for a safe answer to my burning question; to help me to know whether the knowledge that i seek is even good for me. After all, not all knowledge is beneficial; sometimes ignorance can be bliss.

May Allāh grant us the knowledge that will benefit us, in this life and the next, and grant us the patience to live in willful ignorance of that knowledge that would harm us. Āmīn.

26 Responses to “Just Five Minutes”

  1. Faraz says:

    I liked this. A lot. Not quite sure how to explain it, but it spoke to me quite clearly.

  2. hema says:

    we should indeed be grateful that we have Him, as noone else can fully understand us, no matter how much they try.

    isn’t Salem the cat just the cutest? :)

  3. Where is the question? I’m ready to answer, and I have more than five minutes for you huney, always :)

  4. iMuslim says:

    Assalamu ‘alaykum peeps

    Faraz: I’m very happy that it clicked with you, mashallah. I think most of us have burning questions, which remain unanswered out of fear of the repercussions. Maybe you should invent an amnesia-inducing robot?

    hema: Alhamdulillah. Has me found a fellow Sabrina fan? Salem was cute, but a little too sarcastic for my liking! :)

    Unique: Darling! You know what i shouted when i read your comment? “I LOVE THAT GIRL!” Seriously. God’s honest. :D
    But now that you said that, i do actually have an important question for you, but i am not afraid to hear the answer! hehe. I’ll e-mail you in a sec, inshallah. :)

  5. Snowdrops says:

    that’s a great writing sis :D …lol you a Sabrina fan?…hehe, i used to watch that too…loved it :P …i’m a cartoon/anime fan *zip* lol

    “May Allah grant us the knowledge that will benefit us, in this life and the next, and grant us the patience to live in willful ignorance of that knowledge that would harm us”

    Ameen, thumma ameen :)

  6. Sometimes it helps to just be who we are and say it as it is. Screw the world is what I go by :)

  7. iMuslim says:

    Snowdrops: Jazakallah. I used to be, haven’t watched it in a long while – no time! I’ve never grown out of cartoons. Not so much into anime though; i find it to be too ‘adult’. I like Disney type cartoons. :)

    Organic: that does sound like your style. ;)
    It’s not just about being honest with the world about who you are/aren’t; it’s also trying to get an honest answer from another person on something that might be quite sensitive; to ask the question may be enough to cause serious problems, if they react the wrong way. Sometimes, its not worth the risk, and you have to wait for Allah to give you an easier way out.
    Not sure if i’m making any sense, here!

  8. *still waiting for the question* :P You shouted that out? LOVE YOU TOO :P

  9. iMuslim says:

    Yeah i did!

    I sent you an e-mail at 3pm this afternoon! :P I just sent it again to your gmail a/c. xxx

  10. AnonyMouse says:

    Oh boy, I totally know that feeling… as a matter of fact, I’m sorta going through it right now! :S
    Personally, I try to NOT ask sensitive/ personal questions… I try to find the answers in a sneakier, less direct way… sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t… :P

    Haha… I still like watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch! It’s sorta my guilty pleasure… when I come over to my grandparents’ house, they have cable TV, so I’ll watch a couple of the very few shows that I actually like…
    Salem is my favourite cat! His sarcasm never fails to crack me up… :D

  11. AnonyMouse says:

    *favourite character

  12. But I have a weird feeling that’s not the question (in the email) this post is talking about ya imuslim :P

    I believe people who love you for the sake of Allah will not judge you, will understand you and help you through whatever you may be going through. Easy and simple. And I’m one of those who love you for the sake of Allah, yay I’m a candidate :D *Elects herself!*

  13. iMuslim says:

    Mouse: I really think, if it were not for the nine year age gap, i would suspect that you were my twin sister, separated at birth! I’d be the wiser, better looking & far more popular, twin, naturally. :P
    The sneaky route is better, but only if you have the means to be sneaky… sometimes the only way to find out something, is by being direct. But then you have to brace yourself for the potential fall-out; nice.

    Ya Unique: I would trust your weird feeling. ;)
    Besides, i’m not afraid of you – i’m a Ninjabi-in-training, dontchaknow? I learnt some new moves today: different ways to block a knife attack. We were chasing eachother round the Sports Hall, trying to stab our partners with rubber knives! My partner & I were creased over laughing for the first ten minutes; very professional behaviour. At one point i was telling her off, saying, “You’re attacking me all wrong! Come at me like this!”. :D
    Oh, i also learnt how to get out of a bear hug, a head grab, and what to do if someone pulls your hair/hijab from behind.
    {May the One, for whom’s sake you love me, love you}

  14. Manas says:

    Good post. I am confused. Don’t know what is it that I want to say…

  15. Sumera says:

    I think you get moments on some days where you wish you can speak what you REALLY feel. But the consequences far outweigh the benefits. And this is where the unique private communication between you and Allah (swt) comes in. At least you know He is Merciful and knows you better than you know yourself :)

    Have a milkshake on me dear!

  16. iMuslim says:

    Manas: Why are you confused? I feel bad for confusing you now! I think it must be a ‘guy thing’, cos both you and Faraz have been unable to express yourselves, whereas the girlies have done quite well, mashallah. *is tempted to shout “Girls Rule”, but refrains*

    Sumera: Tah very much; don’t mind if i do! *sluuuuuurp*

  17. Wow! You’re gonna have to teach me all of this ya know? Maybe online illustrations can help so everyone from all over the world can join in! :P
    I will trust my weird feelings and um I’ll wait for an email to that first question you had in mind that you didn’t want to say because you thought…ya you get me. hehe. have a nice day love :)

  18. Faraz says:

    ! I think it must be a ‘guy thing’, cos both you and Faraz have been unable to express yourselves

    I think both of us are just unwilling to give due credit to something which references Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.

  19. iMuslim says:

    Unique: I’d love to teach you! I don’t really fancy doing online demos though; not unless there was some kind of secure, sisters-only transmission network, thing, set up! Wrt email: I read your questions, and will respond soon, inshallah.

    Faraz: Yeah, yeah, we all know you love StTW. No point trying to act all macho. ;)

  20. No I meant draw illustrations using stick people on a page, show it to us and we’ll copy :D hehehe, of course I’m kidding :P

    I’m still believing the fact that there’s another question deep down somewhere. Unique is such a curious person, she never lets a person forget what they were really about to say :P

  21. iMuslim says:

    I’m still believing the fact that there’s another question deep down somewhere. Unique is such a curious person, she never lets a person forget what they were really about to say

    Yes, darling. There is a question deep down (though not for you). But i’m not about to blab it on here, for the ‘world’ to see. :)

  22. I know it’s not for me :P May Allah give you peace of mind sweetie.

  23. AnonyMouse says:

    “I’d be the wiser, better looking & far more popular, twin, naturally.”

    OY!! *Indignant*

    ;) :)

    On the subject at hand, though – this is one of the many reasons I wish I could read people’s minds…

  24. iMuslim says:

    Unique: Ameen!

    OY!! *Indignant*
    The truth hurts, deary. ;)

    this is one of the many reasons I wish I could read people’s minds
    Ah, but would you be happy for someone to read your mind? If we are as similar as i think we are, i suspect the answer is a big, fat NO WAY! :D

    Anyway, sometimes it can be fun trying to learn things the ‘hard way’. You get to cook up weird and wonderful ideas; covert ops. I mean, what’s the point of carrying around wire-cutters, a long-range receiver, & a pair of night-vision binoculars, if you’re not gonna put them to good use, right?



    Umm… moving on.

  25. AnonyMouse says:

    So true, so true… gah, I guess you do this ‘wiser twin’ thing pretty well, eh? ;) :P

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